Understanding Disordered Eating (and what to do about it).

Well hello there!

I hope this blog finds you well. As I write this, I'm on day two of a summer cold. Yay for aches and sniffles! 

This week, I would like to discuss the phenomenon of disordered eating. As many of you know, I have struggled with my own chaotic eating and have learned a lot through that experience. Most of what I share today will be a mix of personal experience and information from The Handbook of Treatment for Eating Disorders by David Garner and Paul Garfinkel. For the purposes of this blog, "disordered eating" will encompass anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and eating disorders not otherwise specified (EDNOS).

Whether you have experience with disordered eating or not, the lessons in this blog can be applied to many areas of life (for example, the connection I made to addictions during This Podcast). This also won't be the last time I write/talk on the subject, so we'll look at this as an introduction.

So without any further ado, let's get into it.

 

What is an eating disorder?

An eating disorder is a range of conditions which center around restrictive and chaotic eating behaviours. As with everything, the degree of chaotic behaviour falls on a spectrum, ranging from little to no intake of food, to a "binge" - ingesting much more than a normal eater may consume within a short amount of time. 

A key factor in anorexia and bulima is the "nervosa" tag, or the fear of getting fat. So, these conditions are identified by periods of severe restriction following chaotic eating behaviours. These restrictions can be either purging or non-purging (e.g. excessive exercise), and must be present at least once a week for at least 3-6 months (ish). In reality, one of the only therapeutic differences between anorexia and bulimia is the user's weight - when a person loses ~15% of their normal weight, it can be looked at as anorexia nervosa. 

This can be one of those things that can be difficult to put into words, but when you see it, you know it. 

Why should I care about eating disorders?

Of all mental illness, anorexia nervosa is the most deadly; around 5-20% of anorexia nervosa patients die from their illness. Further, bulima nervosa and EDNOS have to potential to develop into anorexia nervosa. Many symptoms of disordered eating have similar roots as addiction and other disorders, which makes understanding this topic worth the time and effort. . 

How do eating disorders develop?

This is a difficult question to answer, as the factors at play are super subjective. Below are some of the most common:

Childhood trauma. As with many issues, there is usually a root in something from the past affecting the present. Experiencing trauma at a young age severely alters one's perception of life. Sexual, physical, emotional and verbal abuse have psychological and physiological effects, making one susceptible to mental health issues down the road. One of the causalities of trauma is a person's sense of identity. While trauma effects identity expression in many ways, a common one is this: we live our lives based off of another's moods and behaviours, meaning we never learn to think and do things for ourselves. Because of this, the trauma survivor develops an external locus of identity: one's self is based on external factors, like wealth, career or attractiveness (see below). I will write more on this subject at a later time, but know that childhood trauma is usually present in the other factors listed below. 

My self-worth is based off of my looks. This was a large factor for myself. In today's society, the image we present to the world is idealistic; we try to present the most positive versions of ourselves at all times. The media really doesn't help. As mentioned previously, my childhood trauma fractured my identity. Instead of focusing on who I was and what I value, my focus centered on how others view me. So, when I ballooned up to 250 pounds, my self-worth was ziltch. I searched the web far and wide for ways to lose weight instead of focusing on health and wellness. Simply put, I didn't love myself because of my external imperfections. So, when I put too much emphasis on how others view me and my external qualities, I put myself at great risk for an eating disorder.

Rigid thinking. This is when we categorize life's events in a dichotomous way - yes or no; good or bad; black or white. Those who develop eating disorders tend to possess this quality, where foods and activities become labeled as either good or bad. The issue with this sort of thinking is there isn't much that is inherently good or bad in life. Again, everything is on a spectrum. In practice, this looks something like this: 

I ate the forbidden food. This is bad. I must punish myself. 

I missed my workout. This is bad. I must go make up for it by killing myself in the gym.

I only ate clean. This is good. I can reward myself now. 

Life is full of ups and down. Both are necessary for personal development. But, when we live with dichotomous thinking, everything becomes so critical. In the grand scheme of things, eating a slice of pizza. not keeping your room clean all the time or being imperfect is not going to make or break your long-term goals. But when we beat ourselves up for these imperfections (and believe they affect our self-worth), we damage our ability to be happy and in control. 

What are some tips for dealing with eating disorders?

Love yourself - If you don't love yourself now, no amount of weight loss or dieting will change that. I used to live by the idea that if I could just get rid of my love handles, I'd be attractive and I'd love myself. Newsflash: that doesn't work. When you play the "If/then" game, you take away all your personal power. If I get rich, all my problems will disappear! Demar Derozan says otherwise.

So, start to accept yourself unconditionally today. You may not be able to solve all of your problems today, but you can make the choice to view yourself with compassion and non-judgement. The #1 way I achieved this is doing self-affirmations in the mirror. Every morning I would wake up, drink some water, and said to myself in the mirror:

I accept myself for who I am in this moment.

I am loved and I am worthy to be loved.

I am successful.

I am beautiful. 

I am _______. 

You can add as many statements as you would like. There is only one caveat: you have to mean it. When you continuously say these things to yourself in the mirror, it will manifest itself in your daily life.

Remove the word should from your vocabulary. When we use the word should, we shame ourselves. Pair this with rigid thinking and you have a recipe for thinking you are "bad" (whatever that means). Something as simple as replacing the word should with could can make a world of difference in our self-worth. Let's look at this example:

I should have gone to the gym.

I could have gone to the gym.

Do you sense a difference between these two statements? Personally, when I use the word should, I automatically label that decision as "bad". However, when I use the word could, it implies a choice. There is power in the choices we make; every choice comes with a set of consequences (both positive and negative). When we change our shoulds to coulds, we allow ourselves to make choices. Hopefully, we can learn which choices bring us satisfaction and which bring us despair. Then, we can decide which choices we really want to make. Although it may seem a bit simplistic, I can tell you that the words we choose to use have a significant impact on our lives.

Focus on adding the positive. Many times, we can identify the negative behaviours we want to remove in our lives (ie. binge eating). But, when we only remove the negative, that leaves a void to be filled. 

Try this: instead of focusing on the negative you want to remove, focus on the positive you want to add it. When we choose to do something like eat real and nutritious foods, have a satisfying exercise routine and set/accomplish a goal, the negative aspects of ourselves tend to fall away naturally. When I wanted to lose fat, I frustrated myself by focusing solely on removing the negative. Once I added in my self-affirmations, changed the language I use with myself, invested in my support system and worked on a hobby, my obsessions around food and weight greatly diminished.  

Side note: many of the deadly psychological and physiological symptoms of anorexia nervosa are fixed by eating nutritious foods in a non-chaotic way. By simply focusing on structured, healthy eating (in a non-obsessive way), you remove many of the dangerous side effects of disordered eating.

If it won't matter in 5 years, don't worry about it for 5 minutes. This is one of my favourite sayings. It naturally challenges my dichotomous thinking and calms my anxiety. 

When you notice yourself going down that rabbit-hole of obsessive thinking, as yourself if it will matter in five years. If it won't, take a deep breath and let it go, homie.

Will it matter in 5 years if I missed a workout? Nope. 

Will it matter in 5 years if I am not perfect? No. 

Will it matter in 5 years if I love myself. You betchya.

Not everything is life or death - reminding yourself what really matters will bring you a realistic perspective and peace of mind.

I hope this helps give you an understanding of disordered eating or some strategies to begin to take back control of your life. If I missed anything or if you want more clarification, leave a comment below (I'm sick, remember? Give my flu-brain a break). We will talk more about this topic in the future, so stay tuned! See you next week!