First Day Jitters

My phone buzzes at 6:30 am, telling me to wake up.

I’ve been up for hours.

I roll out of bed, hop in the shower, start making coffee and take a breath. Today is the day.

I plan my route to my new workplace twenty times. I over-analyze when I should walk in the door - fifteen minutes before my shift seems fine. Coffee is ready now: Just what I need, more racing thoughts.

I check my bag a couple of times. I take my pre-prepared lunch and add it in. One last sip of coffee, a gulp of water and a goodbye kiss. I’m on my way.

I leave my place and walk to the bus. People pass and cars honk, but my mind is elsewhere. I’m already focused on the unknowns fifty minutes from now.

I finally arrive. I walk up to the door. My heart isn’t racing, but I am definitely not comfortable.

With my hand on the handle, I take one last deep breath. I got this. I enter my new reality.

If this sounds familiar, you’ve felt the first day jitters. It’s a quiet excitement in your gut. It’s the striving to start off on a good foot. It’s an attempt to be your best.

The first time I felt this was at six years old. My flag football team made the finals and we got to play at BC Place Stadium in front of our family and friends. Walking out on the field, my head is cranked to the roof, taking in the incredible atmosphere. I feel some butterflies in my stomach, but I didn’t understand them.

I felt these same butterflies every time I suited up. Whether it was football, wrestling, rugby or rec-league floor hockey, my stomach is where I feel this…this energy.

Until recently, I didn’t understand this energy. I didn’t know how to use it. I would take this energy, fuel it with nervous doubt and let my inner-chatter make me not want to leave the locker room.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t give us the choice to stay in the locker room. Each day, we have to face whatever the day brings. Too often, I’ve shied away from my personal and professional responsibilities by finding an excuse to stay in bed and letting depression and apathy zap me of this precious energy.

Today, I see self-confidence as the antidote to doubt. Through believing in myself, my support and my higher power, I am able to face challenges. With a proud chest and a humble chin, I leave my self-critic in the locker room and move forward. As the old saying goes, the only thing to fear is fear itself. When we realize we are the ones who create this fear, we unlock this energy described earlier to work for us, rather than against us.

I find this fear rears its ugly head when I do not feel prepared. If my bag isn’t packed, my muscles not warm or my head in the clouds, I am not ready for what is about to come. Yet, when I feel prepared, there is no doubt; only excitement remains.

Feeling the jitters? Good.

Use this energy. Prepare. Leave no doubt.

Whether you are faced with a game, a big presentation or and exam, be confident in the butterflies in your stomach. They’re there for a reason and can help you if you let them.

Every moment of every day is prep time; how we live is how we prepare. Staying up late, skipping workouts and eating crap sets the stage for doubt. A sound routine, disciple and support brings an excitement to every day. Every day is a step towards who you become. Ask yourself, who I am becoming?

Today, let’s work hard. Today, we choose to get better. We choose to be prepared for whatever challenge is around the corner. When you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.

We may not have the power to control what life gives us or takes from us. We can’t control what others do. All we can control is our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Will you take responsibility for what you can control today? Will you think confidently or with doubt? When the chips are down, and the clock strikes zero, all of the prep work we’ve done will pay off. Today, we face life with confidence.

We got this.