Finding your Own Version of Stress Relief

Happy Thursday everyone! Today marks one whole month that Bria and I have been living together and I’m happy to report things have been a dream. Even with hectic travel and work schedules, ever-changing sleep cycles and torrential downpours, we’ve been able to maintain our health and happiness. Focusing on our self-care has paid dividends.

The focus of the last few podcasts has been about believing in yourself and embracing your unique qualities. Stress relief doesn’t have to be different. We all have our own preferences when it comes to getting a sweat on or relaxing for the night. As mentioned previously, put a sports ball in front of me and I’ll play for hours. Yet, not everyone has the same reaction to sports that I do. Last night I had a conversation with someone who was adamant that yoga was not for him; he finds relaxation and enjoyment from running. Yeah, not for me.

Is there one universally accepted “best” method to relieve stress? I sincerely doubt it.

Evidence-based interventions are environmentally dependent. Take Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy: while it may be one of the most applicable and useful interventions a therapist has, it means nothing if it isn’t right for the client. Flooding, or sending someone with a fear of heights to the top of a building may work for some to reduce their anxiety. Others would do better with a more gradual increase in fear-provoking situations, called systematic desensitization. In some cases, strategies that aim to help could actually have detrimental effects. What matters is fitting the strategy to the client, not fitting the client to the strategy.

I consider myself to be a bit of an outlier; I like weird things. When I think stress relief, I think of a clean, organized living space. Doing the dishes, sweeping the floor and making the bed does about as much for my mental health as a good workout. Yet, I also find a lot of benefit from body work. We hold a lot of tension in our bodies and many times our physical health is a representation of our mental health. A dance on a foam roller or lacrosse ball and a mindful stretching session can relieve a lot of this tension, making our day to day stress a lot easier to deal with.

It took me a while to accept this as “my version of stress relief”. I dislike wasted movements or ineffective methods. I want the best possible strategy that will bring me the results as fast as possible. The issue: the “best” isn’t always the easiest or most attractive. In fact, leaving myself stretched thin trying what others say works for them can leave me less likely to do the simple things like cleaning and cooking. So is the nature of a depressive episode.

The point of this blog post is that there is no one right answer when it comes to stress relief – all that matters is that you find what works for you. Is it a walk? Singing in the shower? Gardening? A massage? The “what” or “how” of a self-care practice doesn’t matter as much as the “why” and “when”. Simply doing an activity with purpose and faith that the results will come usually brings relaxation. It’s only when we do nothing at all that the weight of life starts to wear us down. Self-regulation tends to require action to be effective..

This week, let’s focus less on what others think about how we choose to relax, and begin to show love to ourselves through our self-care practices. You’re worth the effort; 30 minutes in the gym or putting away your dishes is a small investment, but it has massive results. Simply put: work whatever works for you.