Archive: The Future is Scary and Awesome

HOW

do we deal with the unknowns in life?

Original release: Tuesday, February 02, 2016

As a University graduate, I always held the belief that after school, my entire life would fall into place. A shiny new job, plenty of money and a wife...

 

..Boy was I wrong.

Whether it be complications, not enough money, personal conflicts or anything else under the sun, life doesn't always play out the way we hope. It wasn't until I discussed this with my close friends over dinner that I realized that this is something everyone goes through. Every person at the table was able to pull up examples of how they did not expect to be where they are in life a short while ago. Furthermore, not one soul thought that they had everything figured out. In fact, we came to the realization that even though we may think we have a thing or two figured out, we know  that in a few years, we will laugh thinking we knew what life had planned.

Personally, a lot has happened in this past year. My contract at my comfortable government job is slowly nearing it's end. I broke up with my long time girlfriend, and had to learn to deal with many difficult feeling that arose out of that. I finally have my degree, but am not in a position to use it yet. I uncovered a few underlying issues I had with binge eating and perfectionism. These sort of issues drain your emotion energy, and can leave you feeling helpless to whatever life throws at you.

And now today, I am currently looking for a new place to live, as well as a new job. Also, I need to continue to keep working on my personal issues to become the best person that I can. On top of all that, I have a great amount of student debt which is hindering a few opportunities I may have.

 

Yet, I am excited for the future.

Always darkest before dawn. Life always figures itself out. One door closes, two more open. Choose your cheesy quote and insert it here.

The fact is, no one in life has everything figured out.

Is it scary taking a leap of faith into the unknown? Sure. However, the outcome can be worth the risk tenfold. 

So, how do you get through trying times? How do you reduce stress and allow yourself to feel comfortable with your situation. Over the years. I have gathered a few pointers to help me get by thus far, and focusing on these few points have really helped to simplify life when it feels like I'm in the middle of an ocean all alone. These principles are:

1) You are not alone. 

- As previously stated, no one in life has everything figured out, and there is a simplistic beauty in that. Live knowing that no matter how hard the situation seems to be, there is a great chance that many have gone through this same struggle before, and have turned out just fine.

2) Live in the moment.

-Many times, we can get ahead of ourselves. We freak ourselves out by worrying about things that are a few months or even a few years away. This anxiety seeps into our everyday life and can cause extra, sometimes unnecessary, stress. Alternatively, we can get caught staring at our past. Constantly reliving painful memories and playing the "woulda, coulda, shouldas" further contributes to present issues. A goal of mine is to remember that I am living here and now. By doing so, it helps to focus my attention and emotional energy on making the best of my current situation. In turn, this sets myself up for the future by being the best version of myself that is possible today. As the Women of Sobriety's philosophy states: "Forget the past, plan for the future and live for today."

3) Control what you can control.

-Through what I learnt through my father's time in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), the serenity prayer puts things into perspective, and reduces anxiety. The prayer states: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." So, instead of focusing on the fact that I don't know what I will be doing for work in a few months, I choose to focus on the fact that I can do the best possible work I can do while I do have a job, and I can apply for every job under the sun to increase my chances of employment. I let all the unknowns figure themselves out. No point in stressing yourself out over things that you cannot control. 

If you feel overwhelmed by your current situation, or just simply don't know what life has planned for you, don't fret. No one does. Heck, I'll probably look back on this post in a year and add 10 more paragraphs. 

Do your best to embrace the present, become your best self possible today and smile, because life will pass you by quickly.