Archive: Striving for Perfection
It's ok
To not be okay
Original release date: January 26, 2016
“Perfect is the enemy of good”
Perfection is a funny thing. In life, being perfect means you have done everything right. It means you're the best (or at least performing to the best of your abilities). It means everything goes according to plan.
But what happens when we fall short of this? To the average person, they may cook up that quote of "Aim for the Moon. Even if you miss, you'll end up among the stars!". And in a sense I agree with that mindset; aim to perform the best you can.
But it's not that simple.
For myself, perfection has always been the goal. Through my childhood, I was raised to be the best that I can be. I was pushed me to be a better person, and that built me into the man I am today. I can't thank my parents enough for that.
However, when I didn't reach my goal of perfection, I took it personally. I took it to mean I wasn't good enough.
I would focus on the things which I was good at, instead of working on the things in which I wasn't skilled. Looking back on it now, I believe I limited myself in what new experiences I tried, for fear of failure. The fear of not being the best. The fear of not being perfect.
I wish I was able to interpret my past with the experiences and mindset which I have today, because I would have taken more of my father's lessons to heart. When he told me, "You can't just give up because you aren't the best", I wouldn't have shrugged it off and continued on my ways. I would have sat down and realized one of the most important lessons in life:
It's OK to not be perfect. It's OK to not be OK.
My need for perfection in my life is what I feel was the root of many of my issues with dieting and training. When I would realise that I screwed up (imperfection), I would subconsciously give up. Sure, I would still try. But I would lose my motivation. The same killer instinct that drove me so far ahead in sports and school would get left at the proverbial door.
I would feel a hopelessness that can only be described as a numbness that would shut me out from all the negative feelings surrounding my situation, as an attempt to limit my negative thoughts. This hopelessness is what drove me towards binge eating. By not dealing with these feelings, I turned towards food to comfort me. But, all that I would find was more guilt and hopelessness.
Imperfection --> Hopelessness --> Guilt --> Binge Eating --> Guilt/Hopelessness --> More Binge Eating
However, when I finally started to understand my feelings, and what was going on within myself, I was able to identify my real problems. Through this, I finally internalized the fact that it's OK to not be perfect. It's OK to screw up. That's all apart of learning who you are! By increasing my positive self talk, and limiting my perfectionist's guilt, I have been able to gain better control my life. Sure, I still screw up from time to time. But I celebrate the little things. I don't allow myself to wallow in self-pity. I move on.
In life, not everything has to be all or nothing. This is an attitude which hindered me in my past, and didn't allow me to move on from my mistakes. Life's too short to dwell on the past.
In closing, there is a balance we all can find in our time on this earth. Learn to seek that balance, and live in it. Not everything is black and white when it comes to success and failure, and leaning to celebrate the small things has thoroughly increased my self confidence and overall happiness. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small it may be.
“Success is not final and failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts”